Gem is Valuable.. So You are :)

Gem is Valuable.. So You are :)

People sometimes feel they are on the wrong place,

or going through awful situations..

Maybe we spend time on Mud 🙁 alot but that doesn’t

mean that we aren’t valuable..

The most important thing is that Allah is

Satisfied and to him we are Valuable.. 🙂

And Sure one day Gem will go to the right place,
and same for Dust.

Posted by Muslim & Proud on 2009-11-30 19:46:49

Tagged: , فلسطين , كعبة , كريم , كمبيوتر , مبارك , محمد , مسلمين , مسجد , لابتوب , won , قيام , فطر , عربي , طبيعة , تمر , حلم , youth , yesterday , soul , smile , sorrow , sky , sedek , will , work , yellow , aqsa , allah , already , arab , arabian , dedicated , confidence , colours , cinnamon , 2009 , albert , absorbed , opportunity , opportunities , narute , muslims , israel , koba , ghaza , gazadignity , gaza , garvey , friday , a7ra , flower , childs , fetr , flag , food , for , key , kids , knowledge , tomorrow , truth , صلاة , النصر , غزة , فجر , you , zekr , bakr , ask , computer , colors , click

But What If the Truth Hurts?

But What If the Truth Hurts?

The Truth hurts. Do you remember that axiom? It came up in conversation last week at the girls breakfast. Lois is six months into a relationship that was going swimmingly until last week. “He clammed up, stopped talking; nothing to do with me he assured me but I can’t help feeling fearful that something is wrong”. We all asked her if she had expressed her fears to the man in question and had she asked him to share what was going on. “Jeez, no”, she said “he’ll think I’m insecure; something he hates”. And so begins the slippery slope of sliding down and out of a relationship that both pledged would be based on total honesty and openness in communication. At the very first bump encountered in the process of getting to know one another, Lois is afraid to express her fears and ask the tough questions, the answers to which will either reassure or hurt her. Ed is simply not talking.

I think many of us grew up believing that it was best to avoid the truth in a relationship for fear of driving a wedge or hurting the other party. It certainly isn’t uncommon to hear the chatter of friends along the lines of, “Oh, I’d never tell…best if he/she doesn’t know”. I look back at past relationships and realize how often I softened the truth as a way of avoiding hurting the man in question or shaking up the status quo. In my first marriage, his serious depression sat like an elephant in the living room but neither of us spoke about it – we tip-toed around; me bright and overly compensating; he increasingly withdrawn, until the gulf was so great between us that there was no way of bridging it.

“Some things are best left unsaid”, was a favorite saying of my mother. Those unsaid things included a pretty shrewd idea that my father was unfaithful. To my knowledge they never discussed this and remained in a loveless marriage of convenience. “Don’t tell her that you aren’t sure about making a commitment…” was the advice given to my now husband before his first marriage. Nineteen, and heading for Vietnam, he entered into a marriage that was based on half-truths. She was pregnant; he felt obligated to marry her; she was in love with someone else. My husband broke down and wept a few months ago after spending the afternoon with his ex-wife at a grandchild’s graduation. Perhaps it was too much champagne but whatever the conduit, for the first time, they both spoke openly about the absence of truth and presence of fear of causing hurt that lead them into 17 years of misery. “Just imagine” he said to me, “how different life would have been if we’d had the tools to be honest back then.”

The tools to be honest- that toolbox has to include courage, self-confidence, belief in the relationship, security. The closer we become to someone, the more we have invested of ourselves, the more we have to lose and it’s at this juncture where commitment to truth often wavers. I remember telling my children when they were very young that they would never be punished for telling the truth, and although someone’s feeling might get hurt and I might get angry, the damage done would be nothing like the damage caused by lies and half-truths. One of them used to approach me with, “promise you’ll get over it if I tell you the truth”. And I always said, “I promise”. Some of the truths were difficult to take but I credit willingness to tell the truth with the ongoing relationship I have with my now adult children today.

Honesty is the glue in any relationship; honesty fosters intimacy and true friendship, the building blocks of something that will last. Fear of honesty in a relationship points to cracks in the foundation and signals the beginning of the end. Lois is feeling insecure right now and she can’t express this to Ed. I don’t hold out much hope for the future. “What if I lose him now because I’m being irrational?” she asks. As friends, the circle around the breakfast table point out to her that this insecurity is part of her, makes her who she is and this man has repeatedly told her that he is falling in love with her as a whole person, not just “bits”. We have one dissenter. Angela, married for 35 years, comments that it’s best to leave out the negatives until you’re sure you’ve really snagged a man. And then what? We ask. At what point do you reveal the real you. She shrugs. “Works best this way sometimes is all I’m saying.” She’s echoing my mother 40 years on.

We live in an era where everyone from politician, “trust me”, the doctor’s receptionist, “he’ll be with you in a minute , ‘hon”, to a best friend, “I’m on my way…five minutes” lives with the “little lie”, the half-truth, as part of daily routine. A quick survey of on-line dating sites reveals over 70% of participants list “honesty and openness” as traits they possess and desire in a mate, and yet other data supports in excess of 50% of participants in such sites fudge the truth about age, income, and appearance. What a conflicted world we live in. Truth and honesty as ideals rate highly but in practice they slip to the bottom of a priorities list.

Lois called me yesterday to talk through her fears. Her end note was to ask, “but what if I’m the only one who really is honest…where does that leave me?”. My instinct is to retort that she’s backing the wrong horse if that is the case; I slow down on the truth and instead suggest that she have some faith in earlier instincts about this man and let trust not fear rule the unfolding story.

Anne Perry
Connections for Women

More Replicant Urbanism Articles

How to Attract Abundance and Prosperity – 10 Top Motivational Quotes About Truth

How to Attract Abundance and Prosperity – 10 Top Motivational Quotes About Truth

What is your perception of truth? One of the interesting things about truth when you really examine it is that it’s all a matter of perspective. The concept of truth is especially interesting in light of the fact that most people tend to take to their perception of truth to be absolute.

Yet it’s your perception of truth that determines what you believe, and it’s your belief that determines the level of action you take towards your dreams of abundance and prosperity.

If you look up the definition of “truth” in the dictionary, here is what you will find:

1. the true or actual state of a matter: He tried to find out the truth
2. conformity with fact or reality; verity: the truth of a statement
3. a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like

We’re taught that the “truth is out there” and we’re inundated with messages that promote a particular truth, but my truth and your truth may be very different. So who’s is the correct truth?

Conventional wisdom at one time was that the Earth was flat. Everyone agreed that this was the truth. When Columbus set out to finance his exploration of an alternative route to the Far East, he was laughed at and ridiculed. All because he saw a different truth.

This of course ties in directly with your beliefs. Often in life, in order to make your dreams come true, you must follow your own belief in your own truth. You may not find many others who agree with your view of the world. At the same time, you must guard against holding to your own truth as absolute. Is it starting to feel a little fuzzy?

In the spirit of finding the truth, here are 10 top quotes about the nature of truth:

The greatest enemy of any one of our truths may be the rest of our truths. (William James)
The thought that provokes thought is much more valuable than the thought that is only an echo of an accepted truth. (Thomas W. Hanford)
Candor is a double-edged sword; it may heal or it may separate. (Wilhelm Stekel)
When in doubt, tell the truth. (Mark Twain)
The Greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. (Stephen Hawking)
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. (Niels Bohr)
The greatest friend of truth is time, her greatest enemy is prejudice, and her constant companion humility. (Chuck Colson)
It is better to be divided by truth than to be united in error. (Adrian Rodgers)
Truth is not determined by majority vote. (Doug Gwyn)
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. (Oscar Wilde)

What is your perception of truth and is your perception assisting you in reaching your dreams or is it hindering you? Or perhaps, to quote another famous line, “you can’t handle the truth”.

Would you like more motivational quotes and useful information to help you attract more of what you want and less of what you don’t want? Subscribe to my free newsletter now and you’ll also get our acclaimed 7 Steps to Happiness eCourse: Attracting More Abundance.

Warren Wojnowski is an avid student of personal growth and self improvement who has operated his own successful home business since 2005. He is a respected writer, teacher and Intrinsic Coach® who is very willing to share what he’s learned (or still learning), what’s working, and what isn’t. Warren says “If you have an aspect of your life in which you feel stuck, whether in your life or your business, I can help you get back on track and start living the life you want”.

Related Replicant Urbanism Articles