Dedication to Sanshiro on his passing away on 6 Aug 2007 (sorry for quite personal issue)
He didn’t want to leave and I didn’t want to let him go, so we were fighting his death together. I know he loves me but still I underestimate his love he showed when he was sick.
At the first day of being sick, he didn’t allow anyone to be close, he bited but he allowed me to touch. I took him to clinic and left him there till evening I came to pick him up as I think it would be better for him to stay in clinic. But he didn’t like it at all. He talked very, very long at the moment I was about to leave clinic. I never hear his talk before. The doctor said he may complain about his pain.
Every evening when I picked him up he looked so bad like wilting vegetables but at night at home he was better. At night I talked to him, cleaned him with wet clothes, he looked so comfort and slept. I put him in a box but he climbed out, several times till I gave up. Not only moving out from box but he moved his body pulling the saline tube till the end just to turn his face to the direction I was sitting at computer desk. Then I understood why he climbed out of very big box even though he had no energy. He wanted to see me every remaining moment he had.
So I decided to sleep on ground near him and I knew he like music. When we were together in the car he was so naughty but if I turned on music he will listen, had a long and deep sigh and sleep happily. So that night we listened to classic music together. He woke up again when music stopped and I forgot how to set repeating play of CD. So I woke up and replayed music again and again so that he could sleep well with less pain. It’s so sweet night we spent together.. He was better, could walk in the morning. That gave me hope.
In the morning I took him to clinic and went to work but I was 5 minutes late to pick him up one evening so the clinic was closed. He stayed there whole day and night without me. Next morning I went to pick him up and I could not help crying so much. His body was shaking all the times and he looked terribly worse. I called him several times, as he heard my voice he was shaking less and looked calmer. I felt so bad leaving him so long time, alone in the dark whole night without mental support.
In spite of his worse condition, still being together with me at night till morning he could walk again. It’s like cycle, at night and morning at home he was able to walk but at day till evening at clinic he looked seriously sick.
I decided not to go to the beach for farewell party of my colleague though I spent 4000 Baht for that trip just to be with him till the last moment.
The last day I took him to clinic and he talked so long again. Maybe he said dont leave him there. I thought I would take him in a box to my office to be together but finally I left him at clinic in case of emergency he would be cured. That’s my wrong decision and I failed to fulfill his last desire to be with me at last moment.
When I came to pick him up, he was gone already few minutes before. He died while he was fighting angrily with people at clinic not allowing them to touch him. I was shocked and no words I could say. I saw him walk in the morning and picked up his deasd body in evening.
Normally, we Thai people bury dead pets but for Sanshiro I want to have him with me even only small parts of him, so a little cremation my niece and I did at night..I did it with tears like river. I kept every dust of his ash in flower bucket and kept his bones, even small pieces like small teeth, in glass box.
I am not an easily crying type of person but for him, I cried so a lot, I cried for weeks and ate less remembering how hard he tried eaqch day he fought tyo to live further with me. It was about 2 weeks or more, my niece and I both were dizzy and looked like low blood pressure, I started to realize that we should let this sadness go. So I made life back to common. That’s for my niece to go on happily.
I still see him everyday on computer screen and his photos showing up everyday as Flickrs see his photo everyday. The photo showing tender love and care between him and his mother-like dog is always the one of the most viewd and faved in my photostream.
His love shows me that it’s not only love or loyalty as I feed him but it’s greater love than that.. and the 5 days of his sickness I really realise that pet has sensational feeling with owner. Love could cure within a night as he showed to me 4 nights we were fighting with his death togther. He stood and walked up again and again.
He was homeless cat left alone at the beach at very young age, I found him so thin and hungry at beach. He was so small on my palm, so I took him home with me. He dedicated his life and love to me since then. I took so many photos of him. He was photogenic and gave me still pose even long time. I’m glad I have many of his photos now for memorty and to share with you.
I miss him and wish him know
Posted by Araleya on 2008-08-05 17:58:28
Tagged: , Araleya , friend , pet , animal , dedication , Pass away , love , Sanshiro , cat , kitty , Last moment , together , Panasonic , FZ20 , Leica , Nonthaburi , home , Thailand , Leica digital , Sick , sentimental , story , death , memory , kitten