Crimson Sunbird, female

Crimson Sunbird, female

It’s extremely rare to see the female of this species with such stunning appearance ! The female usually appear dominantly yellow in colour rather drab and without breasts but this one is different, come fully installed with a pair of neat looking boob-like organs. One hypothesis is that those are naturally developing super effective air-bags in response to modern day threats such as horny-terrorism. This pair of hardware is designed to work in conjunction with another technologically advanced instrument known as a Belly Button hidden in her belly button itself. This device is by far the most electronically complex ever build by mankind This serve as a highly sensitive motion detector which allows her to sense the intrusion of any person or object which considered hostile in nature and confirm by the IFF (identification friend or foe) system to be a foe specifically a horny-foe. The pair of air bags would then deploy automatically sucking up all the surrounding air thus depriving the potential threat of the much needed oxygen and killing any terrorist deem horny instantly (since this bird is designed to run on fart gas, the oxygen depleted situation has got no impact on her well being) For those that escape death just outside the killing zone of the deadly airbags, the bird has another trick up her sleeve. She could turn around and bend over, aim her specially constructed nozzle located in her butt and direct a highly concentrated well focused stream of lethal fart gas towards any potential attackers armed with intentions to harm with deadly accuracy and consequence within a 240,000 mile radius. There is no avoiding fate for anyone at the receiving end of this highly toxic fart gas fired from her butt. In fact, a total of 13 aliens camping at the dark side of the moon are known to have been brutally killed by this method accidentally in recent years. Their bodies are turned into microscopic moon dust immediately upon contact with the deadly ray of smelly gas However, one pair of balls belonging to one of the male horny alien remained intact as they are enclosed in stainless steel casing coated with a layer of honey composite. They are appropriately known as lucky balls since the alien was smoking Lucky Strike just prior to becoming a statistic.
Caught her at the corner of my eye while shooting the stork-billed kingfisher fishing
I immediately put the king on hold and concentrate on her before she disappear from sight.
She might be going thru’ the slow and painful process of molting(drop feathers) thus exposing some bare pure smooth skin….poor thing…nevertheless I like the raw skin more than feathers..

Additional note :
This is the only bird species which possess the special ability to perch with cross feet. The other known living species which is capable of performing such task is homo sapiens (approaching extinction). Another species which can do that had died out 65million years ago, the dinosaur, especially the females species. Fossilized records confirmed that.
In fact the latest fossilised remains found in the Gobi desert was a pair of cross leg bones which belongs to a Chinese female T-rex that lived during the Jurassic period approximately 65.5 million years ago. With the latest confirmed records, palaeontologists are able to nail the cause for the extinction of the Dinosaurs, sitting cross leg for prolong period while watching Flintstones TV series.

She possess a smile that could paralysed your eyes and even stop your heart in seconds….extremely deadly….
Wait a minute, birds don’t smile don’t they?
Good question. This one has got her long curve bill replaced with something similar to a human mouth called CBlips (scientific name CheeByeLIpskopi). This is the result of a rare genetic disorder caused by the deliberate mutation of a bunch of nasty jeans or rather genes residing at the tip of her bill. After million of years of gradual transformation, something remarkable happens, her bill has given way to the anomaly of a full and luscious human-like mouth we see today. Not only does it allows the bird to have a more pronounced physical expression, it also enable her to perform an incredible task no other birds could come close…a great blowjob…stays calm…this allows her to blow away the flies which gather around her butt
This particular modification was realised towards the end of the Triassic period roughly 200million years ago.
which has since greatly improve the changes of survival for this bird. The result is a stunning smile-like expression unique in the avian world. Other birds could only stare in envy
However, nature might change her mind and reverse the mutation which over the next few million years converting the mouth back to a bill once more. Until then, sit back relax and enjoy the sight of this marvel of nature.

Her powder-full eyes :
her remarkable stare has the power to burn a 13mm hole right in between your eyes straight through your brain and at the best, you could only make an agonizingly long and silent scream that only silence itself could hear what the heck you are screaming about.
Even if silence understood what the heck you are screaming about, it would still remains a complete silent because silence swallows every single sound before you even make it. At the end it is a total silent, that’s right a complete absent of sound that eventually results in a slow and joyful silent death.
To silently avert such an unpleasant silently terrifying experience, always approach from her from the back where she has no eyes installed.
That guarantee you won’t have to scream in silence searching for a hotel.
Is that simple….Trivago.

It won’t take long for any male observer to spot something disturbing in this bird. Something that defies explanation and appears to be highly irrational. Unlike other sunbirds, this one has an unprecedented abnormal bulge at her chest which looks like human breasts. In fact these are highly technologically advanced instruments disguised as boobs to conceal its true identity.
What lies beneath the bra-like structure is a pair of top of the range automatic deploy airbags that is able to provide her the protection from serious butt injuries during the unlikely event of a mid air collision with a male Holy- Cowbird at an incredible combined airspeed of over 186,000 miles per second.
It has taken nature 130million years to arrive at this particular design. It is so reliable that since its first operation millions of years ago there isn’t a single reported failure cause by mechanical malfunction, software error, underwear tear, suicide attack, computer bug, material fatigue, cyber attack, virus attack, IED attack, terrorist attack or heart attack. However, during the time when Fat Man ( atomic bomb) was detonated in Nagasaki Japan 1945, the shock wave travel all the way here and inadvertently trigger the deployment of her sensitive airbags revealing her 2 sensitive organs and causing a little embarrassment This unpleasant incident did not cause any harm to the sunbird but a group of cows nearby died of laughter.(laughing cow)
For installation contact Mr Asshold mobile at 1331331
Please take note the installation of the instruments would take about 3 years to complete due to the precision engineering, installation, commissioning, and meticulous alignment of the boobs look-alike on the sunbird.

MRI has revealed high contents of CB juices in her tummy. This account for the sudden extinction of the CB plant around this garden. Her high demand for this kind of diet has lead to a drastic disappearance of her host plant around the island. This feeding habit has to be altered or stopped immediately or else we would never get to see the CB plant in the future. Worst of all, as a defense strategy, the CB plant would adversely evolve into something unimaginable called a Chow CB plant. This scary plant could devour an unsuspecting full grown adult male sunbird or human alike while extracting CB juice from it very much like the horrific cute giant plant in the movie "Little shop of horrors" Both plant eat humans.
But there is where the similarity ends. The Chow CB plant has another terrible trick up its sleeve, It can fart after eating its meal. The deadly fart contains largely of sarin gas which at extremely low concentration could cause extensive neurological damage to the brain upon inhalation. Symptoms include blurry horny vision, cocky speech, hot horny flushes, tingling sensation in the middle finger, pussyfoot, frequent loud farting, eye ball elongation, itchy mouth, horny tongue, itchy balls, itchy butt, dilly dally, splitting sexy headache and a whole lot of disgusting discomforts. Seek immediate medical attentions if exhibit any 2 or more of the mentioned symptoms. Failure to do so will lead to permanent inability to sing your favorite love song.

This bird has a very unusual bill construction. Instead of the usual curve and pointed design seen in other sunbirds she is equipped with a special beak that closely resemble a human’s mouth and come fully installed with a set of sharp and shiny white teeth that bites. Inside the mouth, there is an organ which looks and function like a human’s tongue. It also double as a smell receptor. By extending it out of the mouth just like a snake does, she is able to sample the air molecules and thus able to catch the scent of any potential male bird deem suitable for mating. This wonderful piece of device is one of nature’s successful evolutional outcome which started 150million years ago. During the infancy stage of evolution all beaks are built equal and look just like all modern living birds. They are all built for one purpose, to eat. But this crimson sunbird take it one step further by changing the design from a beak to a mouth. The mouth offers numerous advantages over a stupid looking beak. When pair with the soft and flexible tongue, she develop the ability to talk. This allows her to communicate with other species that like to talk to her especially the horny male ones.
With a neat mouth, she could also perform tasks such as smile, sing, scream, scold, shout, whistle, kiss, suck, whisper, blow and bite and everything. This piece of technological marvel change very little over the million of years of evolution because its design is perfect from the first day of deployment.
Fossil records dating from 140million years ago indicates that she possesses a big brain. This suggests that her speech development is very advance and could talk, sing and even scold in a variety of languages including birdlish (prehistoric english). Big brain also leads to the development of big boob-like organs attached to the chest of this particular female species. The exact motive remains unclear and poorly understood. However, some smart Alec suggest that those extra tissues served as powderful shock absorbers which helps to stabilize the bird during unexpected violent mating ritual while others think those are nothing more than a neat pair of air-tight containers to store unfinished food just like tupperware does.

In the image, you would have notice that this beautifully crafted bird is wearing a glittering bangle-like object. This piece of equipment which attached to the bird’s starboard chicken wing bone is called a CB pulse transmitter. This technology is highly classified and I’m not suppose to talk too much about it for fear that my wife would retaliate. Briefly It is designed to emit a series of high intensity microwave pulse at a horny frequency of 13.13Ghz to be pick up by 13 moon orbiting satellites 240,000 miles away.
These horny male satellites would then be able to track her precise location as well as her every bit of movement including digging her nose.
The data is then channeled into a series of earthbound super computers at a secret location for storage and processing. The data transmitted is massive. In order to process such massive amount of data in a very short period of time, computing power is often supplemented by horse power whereby retired race horses are employed to provide some extra spin to the hundred if not thousand of hard drives speeding up the operation.
The info gathered is plotted, her migration and nesting pattern studied among others.
The system provides scientists such as myself valuable information regarding the natural history and behavior of this rare species and help bring the bird back from the brink of extinction and into my house. (when wife not in town)

see more of this beauty:
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note :
This is a featherless bird species (almost certainly female)
Only 4 species known to have existed in this world.
I got 3 and the forth one is still at large.
Believe to be hiding in a place far far away. A place so remote that even MRT+LRT+SBS+TIBS+TAXI can’t reach.
I’m determined to track her down one day, shoot her and post her in flickr backside….oops …website.i mean

click here to see the uninteresting male version of this bird …

Behind the scene:
This group of people/photographer together with their supposedly hired model came by while I was busy shooting the Stork-billed Kingfisher hunting beside a small pond.
Out of nowhere a lady came over accusing me for trying to shoot their model and thus scaring her, demanding me to move off from the area. I was rather taken aback and pissed off at her rude remarks. I then reminded her that this is a public place. I shoot my bird while you guys shoot your model. In fact I think the appearance of this huge group of people really impacted my photography.
It was at this moment that I decided to do exactly what they were accusing me…..shoot their fucking model !
A subject that was last on my list. I turn my lens away from the king and started framing this girl which I soon found her to be more appealing than my kingfisher.
Later, while I was reviewing the pics that I decided to do a write-up on this rather unexpected encounter. Inject a little humour, married it with a little avian flavor and turn it into something amusing.

Posted by kampang on 2013-01-17 12:20:23

Tagged: , Crimson Sunbird , japanese garden , molting , wingless , featherless , relax , female , rare bird , pretty , mrt , lrt , sbs , pretty girl , model , qmomo , sexy babe , fart , lucky strike , blow job